I recently received a plaintive, almost pathetic letter from a reader trying her level best to commit to the way of the gay. While we admire her courage, we nod knowingly at her insufficiency. The Help Desk here at the 'Way has decided to go public, offering its sharp, unparalleled service to all our readers. FREE OF CHARGE. You may have a question about which gingham would make the prettiest kitchen window valance (Answer: neither); or maybe your teenage son needs help choosing a corsage for his prom date (Answer: he likely wants the corsage for himself); or perhaps you need investment advice (Answer: always choose a stock based on its Dow Jones abbreviation. It should spell something dirty.).
Whatever the problem, the GayWay is here to help. It feels wrong to have all this vast store of knowledge, all pent up, only to be released sporadically on the waiting crowd. Hmm, maybe that came out wrong. Anyhoo, if there's something you need to know, we'll make up an answer. Email doingitthegayway@gmail.com with your query. The expected volume of mail means that only the most entertaining questions can be answered, so try not to bore me, people.
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