The opposite of GayWay

I'm not sure what that opposite term would be, because Uptown Art Fair is kind of clunky, but sweet Jesus I hate this event. However, thinking it was preferable to being a prisoner in my own home, I ducked out of the infirmary for a few minutes yesterday afternoon (during a break in the monsoon) and headed over. I approached the fair with a mind as open as a Georgia O'Keefe flower. After all, these are dedicated artists from all over the country; think of the talent converging one spot. Kyrie eleison was I wrong. Hideousness after grotesquerie. When did all these potters decide 1986 was their stylistic high water mark? And who wears all that flowy painted clothing? And Ansel Adams did it already: enough with the birch trees. To be fair, one jeweler used an impressive technique involving linen, an image, copper and pressing onto tin or something like that, but I'm not a girl (shut up) so 'twasn't much use to me.

I didn't make it through the entire fair. I tried, really. But one alleyway up and back was enough for me. Maybe again next century.

It seemed rude to snap a photo of every piece of High Art that I loathed—and there is a limit to the iPhone's memory—but a few pieces begged documentation, so that future generations Will Never Forget.

I'm not sure what to say about this lovely acrylic. It's not playful enough for a nursery, it's not anything else enough for a room that humans might use:

Even Bea Arthur would have put her foot down if the Golden Girls' stylist had brought her this:

Really? We're stilling doing Country Crafts?

I kid you not, I had to fight my way into this booth to snap a pic, so great was the scrum of elastic-waist jeans with pocketbooks outstretched:


  1. Dear Mr. GW (hmmm ... maybe not), rather GayWay Guru,

    When I read that 375,000 people visit the UAF I was amazed. If one is ready to deal with those kinds of crowds then check out the art exhibit at the State Fair. Creativity from real Minnesotans. Really, they aren't all elastic-waist jeans wearing, kountry kraft-loving doofi.

    One plus for this weekend: the free shuttle among the three art arenas (Uptown, Loring Park and Powderhorn Park).
    One minus: forecasted tropical dewpoints.

    I'm staying home.

  2. Gosh! I don't know how I happened to find two very nice pictures for my homes. (calling them pictures is perhaps not doing them justice) Must have been lucky. Yes, I did see some craftsy stuff and lots of stuff I wouldn't have in my home, but I'm ok with letting the kitch lovers have some fun too. You really are becoming a bit of a grump, Mr. Gayway.

  3. I'm not quite sure how to tell you that we bought something for our living room at the Uptown Art Fair today. Will you still be our friends?


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